Work

So I am sitting at my desk right now missing my little man like crazy! I have him as my screen saver so I can adore that little dimple whenever I want.
At first I was doing good with being back at work.... It seems to be getting harder! I never would have thought that would happen.
As my son is getting bigger, walking better, saying words and much more, I am feeling guilty. I spend the majority of my day at work and when I pick him up and get him home it is normally dinner, play time, bath and bed. I feel like I dont spend enough time with him and it is really getting to me. I just keep thinking to myself "You need to work, you can buy him more presents!"
Didn't think it would be this hard...oh how I miss my year off with my boy!

Scare of my life!

Last night I put my beautiful boy to bed as usual. I stayed up for another hour and then went to bed myself. I heard him cry out as if something was wrong. I picked him up and he was limp, whining, twitching and very lathargic. He wouldnt respond and it was as though he was sleeping with his eyes open.
I took him straight to the hospital. When we got there he would sit up on my knee and make eye contact but he would still twitch now and then. When we got into his hospital room he finally started to act like himself again. The doctor said it was either a bad dream and he was in a very deep sleep or a seizure! I really would love to believe it was the deep sleep but the twitching for quite some time after makes me question it.
It is so scary being a mother. You really dont realize how much you love your child until your faced with something like this. The thoughts that run through your head as you hold your sick baby, the fear that flows through your body. I am done having babies! One child to constantly worry about is enough for me.
We are waiting to hear when his EEG appoinment is. I have faith everything will come back fine and this will be something I will never have to experience again.